The Snooki … Definitely NOT a good look.

Okay, ladies (and gents), the madness has got to STOP. The orange is out – trust me. I know that orange is a great fall color and does a fine job at reppin’ Halloween, but do you really want this bright, vibrant, unnatural color representing you and on your skin at that??? I think not. I know, I know… Don’t panic. I’m not telling you to stop your spray tans by any means, because the dangers from overexposure to UV light and extra wrinkles is a not cute look either… I’m just saying to make sure you know what kind of spray tan you are actually getting and the two main rules to avoid that ungodly orange hue!

Rule #1. No automated spray booths. You really think that standing in a space-like capsule as the machine “tells” you how to stand and sprays you down with one of the three (if you are lucky) solutions, it just happens be filled with, is going to ensure that perfect, even glow? Yeah, right. It only took once for me to figure out that, while I listen like a champ, these tanning sessions for me were more or less like a rookie day in yoga class trying to figure out how to exactly stand in “Position 1″ … And, we won’t even begin to mention that lines that formulated on my face from the scrunched look I held, as I worried about my hands and feet looking like I took a swim in the Red River… So, my personal recommendation, just leave it to the professionals – the artists – the airbrush. As long as your airbrush artists or airbrush technicians are highly skilled and educated and don’t look tanorexic themselves, they should be able to even out any existing tan lines, customize your perfect color and use discretion on certain areas (like your face) or even add an little extra color to others (like your pasty buns).

Rule #2. Balance. Trust me – I’m not getting all philosophical on you. While I think everyone needs a little balance and equilibrium, I am talking about your skin -and its pH. What the heck is your pH?? Yeah, I know I didn’t even think about pH either, until the recent alkaline water craze started and forced me to reminisce about Ms. Tucker’s 6th grade science class and her too many classroom animals. Well, here is a brief breakdown: pH is the measure of how acidic or basic solutions or products are. It ranges from 0-14, water being neutral with a pH of 7, anything below 7 being acidic and anything above 7 taking basic qualities. Before, I start sounding like Bill Nye… Basically, your skin’s pH needs to be between 4.5 and 6. SO, balance it out. Making sure your pH is where it needs to be can greatly reduce any chance of a Snooki scare and some places even have pH balancing prep sprays. If they offer it, you definitely need to get it. Don’t be cheap; the scrubs you will have to use to wear off a hideous tan will be WAY more expensive in the long run. Plus, your skin won’t be so dry and essentially you won’t flake off your tan. Thank goodness… As if there was anything worse than being orange, being orange AND flaky. Uh, GROSS. Oh, and ladies, these aren’t the tanning ovens beds, so please, please don’t go every other day. As much as that would definitely help out the sunless tanning industry… If you are doing what you need to be doing, your tan will last about a week and you will always be that perfect bronze color.

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